Two stages of gratitude

According to Dr. Robert Emmons, the feeling of gratitude involves two stages (2003).

First comes the acknowledgment of goodness in one’s life. When we are I a state of gratitude, we say yes to life. We affirm, that all in all, life is good and life has elements that make worth living and rich in texture. The acknowledgment that we have received something gratifies us, both its presence and by the effort the giver put into choosing.

Second, gratitude is recognizing that some of the sources of this goodness lie outside the self.

You can be grateful to other people, to animals and to the world, but not to oneself. At this stage, we recognize the goodness in our lives and who to thank it.

Practicing gratitude

Practicing gratitude can be a game-changer. It can have far reaching effects, from improving our mental health to boosting our relationships with others.

Living your life with gratitude can help you notice the little wins.

Each of the small moments strings together to create a web of well-being that, over time, strengthens your ability to notice the good.

Building your capacity

Building your capacity for gratitude just takes practice. It isn’t difficult. You just wire your brain to this way of viewing your life and environment. The more you can bring your attention to that which you feel gratitude for, the more you will notice to feel gratitude for.

Savor the good. On the days when gratitude feels difficulty to find, tune into your senses. Invite yourself to cultivate thankfulness by slowing down and noticing what you can see, hear, touch, smell and taste. Maybe it is as simple as feeling gratitude for your morning tea/coffee, or a good book. Explore the simple practice to appreciate the little things.

Use the breath to anchor yourself in the present moment. Our minds are always so easily pulled to busyness. Bring particular attention to feeling the breath, or something in the body, as you bring your shoulders down and orient your attention toward gratitude.

Take time to notice what’s around you. Practicing being present. The more often you tune into your awareness, the greater the chances you will notice all the good that is around you to feel gratitude for, which can then bring satisfaction and happiness. Our ability to pick up on the beauty of nature, kindness from one another, the chance to make a living via a job, all require our ability to be cognizant of ourselves and our surroundings. Being mindful of the color of the sky etc allows us to generate gratitude by simply noticing them.

Practice gratitude for the little things. Reminding yourself that eating a meal, for example, is in itself special and can be very powerful. Your immediate awareness of the food in front of you combining flavors while removing hunger is a great way to enjoy gratitude as often as you eat.

Another thing can be feeling gratitude in the morning for being able to comfortably sleep at night. You will gain comfort, satisfaction and peace by practicing mindfulness and gratitude in this repeated fashion.

Share your gratitude for your loved ones. The next time you notice a kind act by a loved one, why not show gratitude by simply saying “thank you” or giving a hug. Why not showing appreciation and not let kind acts go unnoticed. Training yourself to show gratefulness for loved ones can strengthen your relationships with others.

Carry this attitude of gratitude with you.

And why not offer gratitude and thanks to each person who does anything at all for you today? Even if it is their job to help you. When you’re grateful, when you let your heart open up and be filled with appreciation, notice how being grateful makes you feel.

The effects of practicing gratitude

It boosts your mental health. It helps train the brain to be more sensitive to the experience of gratitude down the line. This can contribute to improved mental health over time.

It helps you accept change. When er are comfortable with the way things already are, it can be difficulty to accept when things change – let alone feel grateful for that difference. But when we make it a habit to notice the good change brings, we can become more flexible and accepting.

It can relieve stress. The regions associated with gratitude are part of the neural networks that light up when we socialize and experience pleasure. These regions are also heavily connected to the parts of the brain that control basic emotion regulation, such as heart rate, and are associated with stress relief and thus pain reduction. Feeling gratitude and recognizing help from others creates a more relaxed body state and allows the subsequent benefits of lowered stress to wash over us.

“Gratitude blocks toxic emotions, such as envy, resentment, regret, and depression, which can destroy our happiness” – Robert Emmons, Professor at UC Davis