Expectations
Expectations are what we think will happen, while reality is what actually transpires.
While we hope that these two will match up, they often don’t and this can lead to feelings of discontentment and unhappiness.
Expectations can be a trap. You can hold yourself so tight to an outcome because of expectations and wrap yourself in feelings like unhappiness, disappointment, worry, anger or frustration.
How to manage your expectations:
Ask yourself what you’re expecting from a situation
Look for the positives in what you already have
Remind yourself that social media posts aren’t always realistic
Don’t beat yourself up for feeling disappointed
~ Verywell / Kellly Miller
Expectations refer to the beliefs that you hold about outcomes of events.
While these expectations can play an important role in determining what happens and can contribute to a positive behavior and outcome, they can also lead to disappointment when reality does not match up to what you had hoped would happen.
Common signs that you might hold expectations include:
Anticipating a certain outcome
Holding a vision in your mind of how things will play outcomes
Having an idea of what you want or need from a situation
Sometimes people can become so attached to their expectations that they are unable to see the reality or situation. This can prevent them from taking action or making decisions that would be in their best interest.
Expectations can reduce gratitude
When your expectations outpace reality, it often means you don’t appreciate what you do have. Instead, you may find yourself expecting more or comparing what you do have to what you could have.
Gratitude is all about appreciating, what you have instead of lamenting what you don’t.
Expectations may not be realistic
Your expectations can get the better of you when you expect more than what is realistic in a given situation.
Expectations can create significant stress when they don’t match up with reality. You may also consider how social media can greatly contribute to this. You compare your own worst moments to others’ best moments, which very often are filtered to seem perfect.
You may not even realize this mismatched comparison.
How to manage your expectations
Become aware of your expectations
Start by assessing your expectations in a situation.
It all comes down to awareness. Becoming aware of what you are expecting is a great start.
Becoming aware of what you “should” be expecting is also good.
When you go into a new situation, ask yourself what you expect to happen.
Ask yourself if your expectations should be this way. Where did these expectations come from and are they realistic?
When you feel disappointed, try to think about whether it was realistic to expect what you were hoping for. (If so, make a plan for getting what you want next time. If not, think about how you could manage your expectations).
Practice gratitude
When you find that what is happening is not what you expected, actively look for the positives in what you have. You may find that once you get over the disappointment, you have something you didn’t initially realize you wanted. This helps you to be more appreciative of what you have.
Spend a few moments each day thinking about something you are grateful for. Or consider writing in a gratitude journal.
Don’t make comparisons
It’s great to know what direction you want things to go in, but don’t forget that what you see isn’t necessarily what others are actually living.
Try not to compare yourself to others in general. The only person you should be competing with is you.
Consider what really makes you happy
You may be overestimating how happy you would be once you have what you think you want.
Truly savor what you have. It’s okay to want more, but you can enjoy life so much more if you appreciate what you already have.
Savoring what you have is a great way to expand the joy you experience in life.
Practice emotional acceptance
Don’t beat yourself up for feeling disappointed. Instead of trying to deny or suppress negative emotions like disappointment, work on accepting these emotions as they are.